Dear Diary #13 - Guns n Roses

Today's thoughts are about Patience. Who sang it better than Guns n Roses??

One thing they don't tell you about Cancer is it is a waiting game. Always waiting. 

I definitely try to practice patience.

I have been feeling a lot lately that I am in limbo. There is still so much unknown. And timelines that shift with the unknown. 

I 'think' I am headed for chemo. But I don't know for sure.  I will FINALLY get to meet with my oncologist on Wednesday (Jan 13). So many questions......

If I need chemo there are things I want to think about getting/doing. But I don't want to do them until I know. 

If I don't need chemo then I can get back to some semblance of normal life.

I really miss people. I really wish I was not waiting for Cancer stuff with Covid stuff going on as well. I have friends that don't really believe in Covid, and true or not, it is not something I want to tangle with amongst Cancer treatment.  I struggle with people that don't understand that. I have been very careful during my waiting period (between surgery and oncology appt). Presumably I will start treatment fairly quickly as I waited the six weeks for healing time. How long would treatment be delayed if I were to get sick now? What happens if I get sick after treatment starts? I wish people truly understood.  But we are all entitled to our own opinions, and although I don't agree with everything that the media throws at us, or the fear mongering, or many other things, my stance is that *I* don't need anything extra in my life at this time, Cancer is enough to deal with. 

Although we are all working from home during current restrictions I am ever hopeful that I can skip the chemo and go back to the office!! I am not enjoying my four walls. 

Ok, that is enough whining. As I practice patience (again) I am actually feeling really good. Surgery healing is going great. I feel almost normal, and there really isn't much that I am not doing (besides peopling). It's really amazing how quickly our bodies adjust to new normals. Feeling healthy, feeling positive,  feeling strong. 

We've got this! We will fight this! We will win! #tribe.

3 more sleeps for so many answers...

Just 3. That is a little number.  I can wait. 

Peace and love 

Barb

Comments

  1. MarilynJanuary 10, 2021 at 6:32 PM

    ❤❤

    ReplyDelete
  2. Umbridge ShenanigansJanuary 11, 2021 at 7:34 AM

    Good precautions to take, although I wish you didn't have to... cancer and the pandemic can go suck an egg. We are all rooting for you. Patience is a virtue... sigh. LYMI

    ReplyDelete
  3. sallythewelshgirlJanuary 13, 2021 at 5:53 AM

    You will be find whatever life throws at you - you are a bint after all! I have a friend who went through chemo and radiotherapy last year at the height of the first lock down. She was super careful - in fact still is - and you live somewhere where you can get outside which is good for the soul. Hopefully the vaccine will knock bloody covid on the head this year - till then keep safe XXX

    ReplyDelete

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