Dear Diary #20 - Reflections in the Glass

Another surreal moment today. 

I got up this morning, after a rough day yesterday, and took a shower (far less traumatic to shower now that 'most' of my hair has fallen out hahaha). Our shower has a lot of glass. There was this woman staring back at me in the reflection. She had a scar across her chest, and no wet curls. 

Who is this woman I wondered? 

I'm getting more used to seeing her around. It is less shocking when I catch a glimpse. But at times she is still a stranger.  

I'm not interested in a long post today.  I'm tired. But please know that I am okay. 

After my second infusion on Friday, I can officially say that chemo won the day yesterday (Sunday). Totally kicked my ass. 

But today is a new day, with some improvement, and tomorrow will be even better!

Keep cheering friends. 

Peace and love 

Barb

Comments

  1. Umbridge ShenanigansFebruary 16, 2021 at 6:50 PM

    You got this. #tribe #teambarb #fuckcancer #LYMI

    ReplyDelete
  2. sallythewelshgirlFebruary 28, 2021 at 1:01 PM

    Took me a very long time to even look at myself Barb - it is tough but you will get there - fuck cancer!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Diary #28 - What is Radiation?

Image
 Hey Friends! Apologies for not writing for a while. I've been a bit busy. Work is busy, I'm also working with a few real estate clients, and I'm driving to the city daily for Radiation (fondly known as rads, Jayden thinks this is much cooler).  When I started this blog one of it's main purposes was to share ALL the details in the hopes that if someone went through it, or had a loved one go through it, it would maybe be less scary, or at least they would feel more informed. This post might be a boring one, and a long one by the time I am done, so if you aren't into a long and boring post you should stop here..... I've had a few friends ask me 'what is radiation?' or 'how do they do radiation?'. So here is my long winded, detailed post.  I covered my mapping appointment and my consult appointment with my Radiation Oncologist (who is lovely, by the way) in previous posts. So this is about actual treatment.  The short answer is: -Change into a gown ...
Read more

Dear Diary #6 - Let's talk about boobs....

Image
Haha, will the title make the men in my life click on this post first?  It's all you ladies that I want to talk to though!  Let's talk about boobs. And about just being a woman that is getting older.  What kind of messed up things does our body do as we get older? Man, I am only 46, and sometimes my body is just weird already, can't wait to hit my 60's, 70's and older, lol!  We've all seen on social media posts like the photo below. At least, I know I have. But I am healthy, and honestly mostly ignored them. I hadn't seen one for a long time. But...this is way more important information than I ever considered, and I HAVE the warning sign that I admittedly completely ignored.  In the photo below, you'll see the 'sunken nipple'. That is me. Why did I ignore this? How could I possibly not see it was a problem? I think women of all ages are good at ignoring their own things, while looking after everyone else's. I honestly did NOT think this was a...
Read more

Dear Diary #5 - Is there a doctor in the house??

Welcome back friends. So today is a day for information. I'll try to give details, but not be too wordy. Am I capable of that? We'll see.....  I maybe should have taken some extra time to process this, but I'm going to write anyway.  Today is a good day. Today is a positive day. Today is a bit overwhelming. Today was my surgical consult with the breast surgeon. I know more than I did yesterday, but don't know nearly enough. Here is what I know.  My cancer is IDC, ER+, PR+, HER2-, Grade 2. Stage is not yet know. Mass size is 21mm x 17mm x 15mm. IDC = Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. (invasive only means that it has grown beyond the duct it started in) ER+ = positive for Estrogen receptors, which means cancer cells grow is response to the hormone estrogen PR+ - positive for Progesterone receptors, which means cancer cells grow in response the hormone progesterone. HER2- = means negative results and cancer cells have normal levels of proteins. GRADE 2 = cancer cells are moderate...
Read more