Dear Diary #27 - New ink!

 Hey Friends,

I thought I'd post a brief update on my radiation news from last week. 

I am still waiting for a call with a date to start actual treatments, but I did go in on Thursday for my 'mapping' session. 

Note to self, if you are self conscious about people looking at your boob(s) you should avoid getting breast cancer! lol

Anyway, I gained myself four new tattoos this week. They aren't very artistic, or even creative at all, but they will be with me for the rest of my life. Essentially they are just about the size of a freckle. I have one on each side, at about the bottom of my rib cage. And I have two more vertically in the middle of my chest, a few inches apart. So like I said, not very artistic. 

Basically I was put onto the bed that goes in/out of the CT scanner, lying on my back. Above me was a laser that I can only imagine laid out some sort of grid on my chest (I obviously couldn't see it). The techs drew on me with sharpies, measured, wiped the sharpie off, redrew etc. When they were satisfied with the dots they taped on a tiny little piece of metal to those spots so the scanner could actually see them. They also, interestingly, taped a wire across my scar so they could use that as a landmark in the scans as well. I was then pushed through the CT a couple of time while breathing normally. 

After this I was asked to hold my breath while expanding my chest as much as possible. This was tested, measured, tested, measured, I was scolded a few times for not breathing correctly, lol. Then tested and measured again. When they were satisfied that I could mostly do their test correctly I was run through the machine a couple of more times and asked to do a 20 second breath hold while they scanned. 

These scans are then used to 'plan' my radiation. They know with my tattoos exactly where to line me up so it is the same treatment every time. And they will see on the scans from Thursday if I will require the breath hold to protect my lung. This may or may not happen. I am not sure I passed their test with flying colours, so let's hope it isn't necessary, hahaha. It is MUCH more important for left side cancers. 

They plan to radiate my chest wall, up to and including my right collarbone, and my armpit area, and some around my right side. Radiation is another treatment that some women skate through, and others suffer terribly with burns and even open wounds. I have already picked up my suggested creams, moisturizing is HUGE, and I will start with these before treatment starts in the hopes of getting the skin more prepared. I'm really not stressed at all about radiation, it too is temporary. Many women are left with a permanent 'tan' in the radiated areas, or at least a skin darkening. I was warned that depending on the shirts I wear that may be noticeable in my collar bone arear. But, meh, whatever. I don't have a boob (ie cleavage) on that side, what is a bit darker skin? LOLOLOL. 

I hope to get a call this week, to start treatment next week. I.just.want.to.get.this.done!!! 

I am 10 days on Tamoxifen with no big complaints. I am definitely feeling like I am in induced menopause. This is affecting my sleep, as I play the cover on/covers off game multiple times a night. I was SUCH a good sleeper for my whole life it will take a bit to get used to this. But I still get enough, and life will go on. I am 'stiff' if I am not moving, and I think the chemo/tamoxifen is playing a roll in this. If I sit for two long I look like an 80 year old trying to stand up, hahaha, but once I am moving I am fine. I even feel stiff in my back and shoulders when I am laying in bed. But again, I'm fine once I get up and get moving. So overall after reading tons of posts of very bad side effect of Tamoxifen I am thankful that this has been an easy 10days. I'm hopeful that it continues this way. 

It's a quiet day here today, and I am sick and tired of our yucky weather so I have just been cleaning up some paperwork and puttering around the house. 

Happy Sunday friends! Keep cheering! 

Peace and love

Barb