Dear Diary

Hey all, It's been a bit since I posted, so here I am with a few inconsequential updates.  When I posted after my surgeon consult on the 16th I said that it all felt 'holy shit' fast. Well....I'm officially DONE with the waiting now. We can move along anytime. Siiiiiiigh. 7 more days..... I have two new BFF's in my life, for a short time. Wendy is the lady from the surgeon's office, she is every helpful is getting all my stuff scheduled and keeping me sorted out. Gwen is my 'nurse navigator' that will follow me through my journey. Both are wonderful ladies, and a great source of both comfort and information.  Today I had my 'pre-op interview' with a nurse from the hospital. Remember the days when we had to go in for these appointments? Huh. Not in 2020. She asked me many of the same questions I have been asked multiple times lately, list of surgeries (lots), medical conditions (none), etc etc. So we are good to go (barring any delays) for surgery...

Haha, will the title make the men in my life click on this post first?  It's all you ladies that I want to talk to though!  Let's talk about boobs. And about just being a woman that is getting older.  What kind of messed up things does our body do as we get older? Man, I am only 46, and sometimes my body is just weird already, can't wait to hit my 60's, 70's and older, lol!  We've all seen on social media posts like the photo below. At least, I know I have. But I am healthy, and honestly mostly ignored them. I hadn't seen one for a long time. But...this is way more important information than I ever considered, and I HAVE the warning sign that I admittedly completely ignored.  In the photo below, you'll see the 'sunken nipple'. That is me. Why did I ignore this? How could I possibly not see it was a problem? I think women of all ages are good at ignoring their own things, while looking after everyone else's. I honestly did NOT think this was a...

Welcome back friends. So today is a day for information. I'll try to give details, but not be too wordy. Am I capable of that? We'll see.....  I maybe should have taken some extra time to process this, but I'm going to write anyway.  Today is a good day. Today is a positive day. Today is a bit overwhelming. Today was my surgical consult with the breast surgeon. I know more than I did yesterday, but don't know nearly enough. Here is what I know.  My cancer is IDC, ER+, PR+, HER2-, Grade 2. Stage is not yet know. Mass size is 21mm x 17mm x 15mm. IDC = Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. (invasive only means that it has grown beyond the duct it started in) ER+ = positive for Estrogen receptors, which means cancer cells grow is response to the hormone estrogen PR+ - positive for Progesterone receptors, which means cancer cells grow in response the hormone progesterone. HER2- = means negative results and cancer cells have normal levels of proteins. GRADE 2 = cancer cells are moderate...

 Hello again, Welcome back! I had a friend ask me tonight if I only had the 3 posts. She was checking back for any updates, and my first reaction was that I have no news. That isn't exactly true though, in hindsight.   I told you in my previous post that I hoped to have my first surgical consult as early as this week. But alas, we are still waiting. Appointment with a breast surgeon is set for Monday, so another few days before I have at least a few questions answered (we hope).  So that is as much news as I have. Not this week, but next.  But I do want to say here, that I am so overwhelmed by the love this week. I always knew I had a TRIBE. I have a large cirle of people even if so many of you live far away. I have had a crazy amount of messages, texts, and love since my post on Sunday to share my news. My heart is full! I am so glad that I shared, because it will be all of you that will pick me up and carry me through this. WE will kick Cancer's ass. WE will g...

 It's almost time to share this journey.  Being 3 days post diagnosis, the last few days have been filled with lots of conversation, a few tears, and even some laughs. The conversations are draining, the explantions, the sympathy. Oh man, I can't put to words how little I want any sympathy.  I think most importantly for me, I want a normal life and I will strive to keep life normal every day. Although I am going to throw this all out to the universe, put it on Facebook, and write in this blog, I struggle because I most definitely do not want the attention. I don't require affirmation. I don't seek anything from anyone.  This blog is threefold to me. First and foremost it will be my therapy. I have a family, and a tribe, that always has my back. I know that I have the support available to me to take this journey. I know I have people in my life that will drop what they are doing and be at my side, for an ear, or a helping hand. But this will be the place I can come to...

 Hello again, When I started this blog earlier this week I wasn't sure if it would ever continue, or be shared. But again, if you are reading this then I guess I have shared. From my first post I mentioned that my journey started with a simple doctors appointment. So let's start there......this one will be a long one......yikes. As I said, I am 46 years old. I would consider myself healthy. Maybe slightly overweight, but zero known health issues. I very rarely even get a cold and I can't remember the last time I had anything that resembled a flu. My blood pressure is textbook normal, never issues with blood work or anything. So, I have been slacking a bit in the 'annual physical' department. I think it has probably been 3 years since I was in for a physical.  To start with the first round of TMI of this journey I have, over the past year, been experiencing changes to my period. I don't believe I am pre-menopausal yet, but I have changes. Enough that they are sta...

 Hi!  If  you are reading this post, it means I have decided to share this link and have moved ahead with my journey of reflection.  Let's start at the beginning, I guess. My name is Barb, I am a 46 year old woman living in Alberta, Canada. I am married (for the second time) to a wonderful guy named Darrin and I have two (plus two) kids. My son Codey is 27 and married to a very lovely lady named Kate, and my daughter Jayden is 25 and is very recently married to her best friend, Ilya.  I didn't have a diary as a kid, and rarely write much, but writing has always been very cathartic when I do do it. I tend to always have words rolling around in my head, and sometimes they simply need to escape. If I have a difficult situation to deal with, typing is my release. I can pour it ALL out, and move on. Maybe I should have had a diary as a kid....or maybe I do now. Time will tell I guess. Although the idea of writing has always been a very faint glimmer, I have no formal...