Dear Diary

Wow, Dec 23. It's hard to believe that 2020 might actually come to an end after what seems like the longest year in history. Isn't life crazy!!??!! Regardless of how you lean on the Covid issue, I think we can all agree that it has set the world upside down, and it is crazy all the things that happened this year (and how quickly they happened).  For me, I avoid the conspiracies. I am just trying to look out for me, and my health, at this point in the year and keep life simple. I'm mostly hibernating and finding things to occupy my boredom, while working from home also. Darrin and I joke about me going 'into the out' if I do have to run out for something. I had a craving for Wendy's on the weekend and we had a #coviddatenight in Wendy's parking lot, lol. Oh the romance! I actually went out to the grocery store earlier this week for the first time in forever, and was happy to see that things were fairly normal. I really don't get out much these days, haha....

 Hey everyone, Can I just say how awesome my #tribe is? Again? Seriously? I can't even put to words how much awesome there is in my world!!  AWESOME!! As scheduled, I had my follow up appointment with the surgeon today. And I am 1,0000 times better this afternoon than I was this morning! Maybe 2,000 times better!! One thing nobody really talked about is how absolutely shitty surgical drains are. I see posts on my cancer support pages on fb, but nobody REALLY talks about how bad they are. The WORST. Seriously. Some people are really lucky and get them removed within a week of surgery. I was not one of those lucky ones. Every day that went by got a little bit worse. As my bff Wendy says, "this is a foreign object in your body, and your body REALLY does not want it in there". Slowly over time everything just got more annoying, and then more painful. Sleep was uncomfortable at best. Moving, stretching, lifting, everything sucked. But......big BUT.....it is gone today!! I only...

Hey everyone, Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy in these crazy times.  It is officially two weeks from Christmas and I am struggling a bit to find the Christmas spirit. Things are going to look a lot different for so many this year. Even in our house. For those that are not local to Alberta, we are currently under Covid restrictions that don't allow anyone into your house that does not live there. That is such a strange statement and I feel when I look back on this blog in 5 years, or even 10, that statement will be very surreal. Darrin's Mom has named us as her cohort (if you live alone you can name two people), so she will be allowed to either come to our house, or us go to hers. I'm pretty much housebound at the moment, as I am not supposed to be driving with surgical drain in, so it is easy for me to keep myself isolated for her protection. Darrin is still going to work, but keeping everything else at a minimum and they are super careful at work with masks and s...

Good morning all, I'm now a couple of days post surgery, and just getting myself all settled in. I thought I'd take some time to share the details.  Remember back from an earlier post I said one of the reasons for this blog was to share the details (good and bad) that go along with this journey. Maybe because I am immersed in this cancer pool it seems so much more prevalent to me, but it seems that more and more people are getting diagnosed, and if this can help one or two people know more about the intimate details of what to expect then my heart is happy.  For those of you not interested in surgical details, this would be a good post to skip, lol. So Thursday was surgery day.  Started bright and early, and in the dark. I had a pretty good sleep, considering.  If I had not looked at the time at about 340am I would have slept longer. Up around 530 to feed the animals, finish packing, and hit the road.  Entry into the hospital at 715am was strangly apocalyptic. T...

I guess blogging isn't supposed to be about only the positives, the information, and the bright side, right? For so many little  reasons that all accumulated into an iceberg, today sucks.  All the little reasons are so inconsequential that it feels ridiculous.  But today those little reasons can fuck right off. I've just poured myself a drink and filled the tub with my favourite bath bomb, and I'm just going to take a moment, or three, to wallow.  I've hed very few moments since diagnosis that have really got me down. This is just my journey and I get to take it, like it or not. Everyone always tells me how stong I am. I can tell you that I didn't feel very strong when my favourite indoor cat decided to escape to the outdoors today. As I was totally  ugly crying and BEGGING her not to do this today. Haha. Oh man, am I glad no one was around to witness that! 🙈 Today was my last day at the office for a while. While it had a crazy sense of deja vu from packing up ...